I missed yesterday cause my family and I went away for a small 4th of July holiday. It was nice and relaxing to get away for a few days! However, I did not do well with my prayers and scriptures. It’s so easy to forget doing those things when I am out of my routine. I am going out of town with my family soon, again, and so I am deciding right NOW to pray for help to remember my “daily’s” EVERY SINGLE DAY. Of course, it will still be hard to do them, but if I at least remember them, I will be a step ahead of where I was yesterday and today.
I remembered late last night to do my accountability yesterday, but didn’t have a computer or internet access to do it with. So, here’s a report of two days, sort of mushed into one:
Scripture & Gospel Study: I did read two small chapters of D&C last night, but then stopped reading and started watching a movie instead. Sort of screwed up priorities there, eh?! I will read tonight before sleeping, as well.
Prayers: Not so great. I will definitely do a meaningful prayer tonight. I have a lot of grateful feelings in my heart right now and I want to express that to the Lord. He continues to bless me with so much.
Internet: Nope. No internet = no temptations on the internet!
Temptations: I was tempted a few times to look at people (we were around a LOT of people today) and I gave in a couple of times. I was about to say, “nothing to serious”, but it doesn’t matter if a girl is fully clothed or half-naked… if I am tempted to look and I give in, the action is the same. The resulting desire to continue looking may be stronger, but the sin in the initial action is still the same. I can not allow myself to excuse or rationalize the small things. The small things are where the addiction starts and grows roots. Yesterday, I also found myself having negative/bad thoughts in my mind a few times. I didn’t purposely put them there, but when they cropped up, I was surprised by them and disturbed by them. There’s obviously still a lot of crap in my brain, and I have to be ever-vigilant to not let stuff like that take hold and continue thinking along those lines.
Feelings: Feel happy, but also a bit stressed, cause now I am facing another life-altering decision – whether we should move or not. We live in an absolutely wonderful neighborhood with a beautiful home. We are thinking of buying some land and building a home. Just the thought of how much work that will take is enough to bring on the stress, but at the same time, the location and lifestyle would be awesome! Of course, I’m also worried that I may have more than just a bit of “the grass is greener” syndrome right now. I will pray about it, though, and seek to know the Lord’s will. If He is for it, or at least, not against it, then we will pursue the move. It will upset a lot of things in our personal lives (work, school, friends, etc.), but I think it could also be a wonderful thing for our family.
And yes, where I’m going has the addiction recovery meetings. Thankfully!